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Let’s face it: rejection sucks. No one likes it and it will never feel good when a guy stops calling or a girl tells you she’s not interested. In It’s Not Him, It’s YOU, I devote a lot of discussion to this important topic because it’s such a difficult thing for most people. However, if you can put aside your feelings and look at things objectively, rejection can give you important information.

There are 2 Kinds of Rejection:

1) The occasional rejection. This is the most common type of rejection. Being rejected from time to time, whether when you first talk to someone, after a date, or after many dates, is normal and part of dating. There is no escaping it. This tells you that person isn’t right for you, at least at that time. It isn’t personal – they can’t help how they feel. Most people you date won’t be right for you.

2) Consistent rejection. If, however, you’re getting a lot of “No” when you ask girls out, or a string of guys aren’t calling you after a first date, then likely there is something you’re doing wrong without realizing it. In this case, you need objective advice. Ask friends for their honest opinions, and/or hire a dating coach to assess your situation. We all have areas of weakness, and we’re usually blind to them because we’ve been living with them for years!

Don’t let rejection get in the way of finding that right person. When it happens, look and see if there’s anything you could have done better or if there’s something you can learn from the situation. Often, you will look back and realize she wasn’t really your type anyway, or that he was a jerk, or that the timing was bad. Rejection can teach you a lot – learn from it.