Many of you know I’m a quasi-nerd. So, yes, I mention the Big Bang Theory in this blog’s title. However, while I am a nerd, I’m not a physics nerd. So when I say “Big Bang Theory” I’m not talking about the origins of our universe; rather, I’m talking about the very funny sitcom most of you are familiar with.
If you’ve ever watched the show, you know it’s about four single guys (three physicists and an aerospace engineer) and their scientifically challenged (but very cute) female neighbor. And, as you watch the show, you learn why these four very bright, adorable men are often single :). These guys are better at understanding the inner workings of a NASA toilet or Halo 3 than knowing how to handle women. And it’s seriously funny.
Geeks, nerds, and other Intellectual Badasses aren’t usually known for being suave with the girls. But, often, they’re great guys who have one area of weakness, one blind spot that keeps them from getting what they want.
Take the guys from the show as examples:
- Leonard: Of the four, Leonard gets the most action. Why? He has excellent social skills, probably as a result of having to deal with so many difficult people in his life. He’s cute, responsible, and reliable. What’s his Achilles Heel? He’s a TNG (a Too Nice Guy). He lets women (and everyone else) walk all over him. Women don’t respect this. As I discuss in Changing Your Game, TNGs are GREAT guys who need to let their masculinity emerge and set down a few boundaries.
- Sheldon: By choice, Sheldon doesn’t date much. But even if he wanted to, he’d have terrible luck. Why? He’s the opposite of Leonard: lacking in social skill and displaying little to no empathy (i.e. the ability to see things from another’s perspective). This is a recipe for no women (or, in many cases, no friends). He’s a TV character, but how many of you have known a very bright nerd who can’t deal with people or thinks his intellect makes him superior?
- Howard: Howard is a horndog and a mama’s boy. But those traits aren’t his weakness. He’s a sweet guy who really, really wants a woman, but he’s so desperate for approval (and sex) that he comes on too strong, says dumb things, and scares women away. We all know men who have an inner horny adolescent – they need to learn to see things from a woman’s point of view and curtail their enthusiasm.
- Raj: Raj can’t talk to women. Literally. Unless he drinks or takes experimental meds for social anxiety, of course. And even then it goes to hell. So he comes off like a 10-year-old who’s afraid of girls. In real life, many men are not too different from Raj. They go to social events, hide in the corner with their posse, and don’t talk to any women until they’ve downed a few drinks. By then, their brain’s inhibitory centers are so altered that they wind up making asses of themselves. Men like Raj need to build confidence, one step at a time. Start by talking to women you aren’t at all attracted to, get used to that, then work your way up slowly.
I suppose the reason Big Bang Theory is so popular is because, on some level, there’s some of those 4 cuties in all of us. We all have our weaknesses when it comes to dating. To master success with women, you need to identify your weak spot and find a way to work with it.