Dating the Divorced Man: The Plight of the First Wife

On this blog, I have an entire category of articles entitled “Dating and Divorce.” These articles span various topics related to dating after a divorce, but most are devoted to a specialty area of mine: dating separated and divorced men. Many of the articles in that folder represent my most frequented and most commented articles. I published Dating the Divorced Man in 2007 and it’s now it its 2nd edition. Clearly, this is a topic many people can relate to. […]

Dating a Separated Man whose Ex-Wife Won’t Let Go

Hi Christie I’m 44, never been married and have never had children. I’m involved with a man that has filed for divorce but has yet to finalize it. I would have to describe our falling in Love similar to what it must have been like back when you didn’t have a physical relationship with someone until after you were married. I fell in Love after long discussions about Life. Talking about what mistakes we’ve made in relationships, what we would […]

Help: My Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife Won’t Leave!

  Hello Dr. Hartman, I have been dating a guy for 6 years. We’re in our 50s. We both have children: his are grown, mine are teenagers. He has been divorced for over ten years. My dilemma: after the first couple of years, things were fine. His ex, that has also still loved him and never got over the divorce, was diagnosed with breast cancer and he allowed her to move in while she recovered, which I understood the compassion. […]

Is it Normal for My Divorced Man to Keep in Constant Contact with his Ex-Wife?

When the topic of dating separated and divorced men comes up, one of the questions I get most often is, “How much contact should he be having with his ex?” In other words, if a man is divorced (or going through a divorce), how much visiting/talking/texting/helping the ex-wife is expected for the sake of good relations, and how much is too much? This is an important question, because the nature and frequency of contact with his ex can tell you […]

Is it Normal to Obsess about My Boyfriend’s Ex?

  Dear Christie, I started dating my current boyfriend about 8 months ago. This is my first serious relationship with a man to where we live together and would like to have a future together. However, he was married before. They were married 2 1/2 years. I have a hard time not constantly comparing myself to his ex-wife. Always wondering if we fight too much like they did or if I ever do anything that would remind him of her […]

Help! My Husband’s Ex is Driving Me Crazy!!

  Dear Christie, I read your book on dating the divorced man and boy you had some great points! I have never been married, always held out until I met the man I was always meant to find. Unfortunately he found someone else first, eloped and married a horrible person. She left him, and the marriage, before I had ever arrived. Then when I entered the picture, she decided to take their 2 kids and move them across the country […]

Badmouthing the Ex: A Bad Idea

Hi all! Unless you’re 18 or haven’t been getting out much, you have an ex. If you’re like many of my clients, you have an ex-spouse, which, let’s face it, is like an ex to the third power. And chances are, you have at least one ex you don’t like or who did things he or she shouldn’t have. Maybe you’ve been lied to, cheated on, talked down to, criticized, dumped, or just misunderstood.  And that sucks. But no matter […]