Dating: When is it Time to Give Up?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a dream or goal, worked steadily toward it, imagined how it would be when you achieved it… and then had things not work out the way you hoped they would. Perhaps you experienced numerous setbacks or failures… or perhaps you achieved some success but then found it didn’t feel like you thought it would. This can happen in your career or financial life… and it can happen in dating as well. It’s happened […]

Friendship with the Ex, Part 2: How To Do It

  Recently I talked about whether or not friendship with an ex is a good idea. It’s clear from the comments, and comments I get on Twitter, Facebook, and on other articles, that people have greatly differing opinions on this. Whether or not you can — or want to — be friends with your ex is up to you. It depends on your unique situation. If you do want to, however, simply saying, “Hey, let’s be friends” isn’t often enough. You […]

Shy, Introverted, and a Failure with Women: What To Do?

Hello Christie, I am a shy, introverted IB and TNG (according to MBTI typology, I am an INTJ). My dating Kryptonites are overthinking, shyness and social awkwardness. But I have also difficulties in leading with masculinity. It is easy for me to tone down my emotions (in fact, I have difficulties in expressing them and in behaving in “emotional” situations, because I am much more rational than spontaneous), but not to be confident and take control. Because of my social […]

Achieving Online Dating Success: Does it Help to Avoid Gender Stereotypes?

So I’ve written many posts on OkCupid’s interesting data crunching, and their even more interesting results. Anyone can give you their opinion on what it takes to succeed in online dating; but offering up hard data… well, it doesn’t get much better than that, especially when the results aren’t what we expect. A friend sent me a great link on Twitter today. Wired magazine has crunched data from OkCupid and to come of with the things that create online […]

Struggles in Dating: Complaining vs. Identifying a Problem

Happy Monday, all! Hope you all had a great start to your New Year. It’s been some time since I’ve posted an article here. To a great extent, the lag time between posts will continue to be this long. I am putting my efforts into some new endeavors, including my fiction writing and new blog that will focus on film and books (particularly science fiction). Of course, if this interests you, join in! Otherwise, I am still active on Twitter […]

In Dating, How Much Generosity is Too Much?

Last week’s post on chivalry in dating generated some interesting discussion and commentary. Some thought chivalry was generally a good idea, some thought it was a necessity, and some thought it unfair. One of the issues that came up was whether chivalry was rewarding – i.e. whether it paid dividends or made a woman take you for granted. This got me thinking about generosity in dating. With men’s dating advice, there is often debate about whether a man should be […]

Dating and Body Language: Telling the Difference Between Friendliness and Interest

Hi Christie, Firstly, thanks for posting your thoughts and findings online – I’ve read a number of your articles and threads, and it’s helped me feel a bit better about some of my worries and concerns, knowing that in part they are due to human nature rather than some fault on my part. I have a question for you, which arises from a number of recent experiences I’ve had. I hope it might make for an interesting discussion on your […]

4 Common Mistakes That Make It Hard To Find Love Online

  Everyone dates online for different reasons. However, many people – especially those who choose a site like eHarmony – get online because they’re looking for the right person. You can definitely meet the love of your life online, and many people have. However, doing so becomes much tougher if you make the following common mistakes. 1. Having Unrealistic Expectations If you’ve ever heard singles bemoan their online dating experiences, you’ll notice that most of the things they complain about are annoying […]

Approaching Women: Does “Negging” Work?

Approaching women for the purposes of dating isn’t easy. At all. What should you say to women that will make them want to talk to you or even get them interested in you? The answer to this question will vary depending on who you ask. Recently, a guest commented on the blog about “negging” and whether it’s a useful tool in picking up women. He wanted my opinion; so today I’ll discuss what negging is and how it works.   […]

Dating, Rejection, and the LBF (Let’s Be Friends)

Happy Tuesday, peeps! Some time ago, during the Intellectual Badass Dating campaign, we got into a discussion about rejection. Rejection is a part of dating that EVERYONE dreads. Obviously, being rejected isn’t an especially joyous experience. But rejecting others isn’t so fun either, and people often forget this fact. But if rejecting others was so easy, there would be far fewer disappearing acts, fade-aways, dumb excuses, proclamations of “it’s not you, it’s me,” and other absurd ways people try to […]