Confidence and Insecurity, Part 1: Men

  So I’ve been thinking a lot about confidence: what it is and what it’s not. People who dispense dating advice are always pushing singles to show confidence, saying that confidence is sexy, sexier than a good income or a great face. And they’re right. The problem is it’s much harder to actually define what confidence is, and what it’s NOT.       What is Confidence? Google defines it as: “A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s […]

Christie’s Digest: V-Day Edition, 2015

  Greetings, all. It’s been a while since I’ve put together a “digest” of interesting articles. These will include articles I was part of as well as others that I just found worth reading. Enjoy, and have a fun Cupid’s Day!   Podcast Interview with Justin from Giving Shy Guys Game I had a nice long interview with Justin about everything from dating after divorce to whether there really is such thing as an alpha male.

Revisiting the LBF (Let’s Be Friends)

Dear Christie: I loved your book Back in the Game as well as your posted articles. I’m 48, divorced for several years and recently got the ‘just friends’ nonsense. I took it well and in fact even went on several non-dates with this wonderful woman who is interesting, beautiful and great company. Why not? She said she’s moving soon and cannot date for that reason. This could be why, but in my opinion women usually resort to the friend zone […]

Dating: When is it Time to Give Up?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a dream or goal, worked steadily toward it, imagined how it would be when you achieved it… and then had things not work out the way you hoped they would. Perhaps you experienced numerous setbacks or failures… or perhaps you achieved some success but then found it didn’t feel like you thought it would. This can happen in your career or financial life… and it can happen in dating as well. It’s happened […]

Christie’s Digest: Relationship Advice Edition

Greetings, all. Hope you’re enjoying your summer and tolerating the July heat, humidity, and/or monsoons. Hot or no, it could be summer all year round as far as I’m concerned. LOVE it. I’ve been fortunate enough to be quoted in a lot of articles recently, all of them very good. So thought I’d share some of them with you for a little fun and informative reading.   Guys: 6 Lies She’s Been Telling You Have you ever dated a woman who […]

What’s WRONG with Dating Advice

I had a bad experience recently. I was part of an event affiliated with, where I and a few others were panelists in a discussion with a roomful of singles. It was an interactive event, where the MC asked the audience what dating challenges they face, and we panelists would chime in with advice. There were 5 panelists, one of whom was an outspoken, opinionated guy who did a lot of the talking on the panel. He owns a bunch […]

Dating and the Psychology of Color

Color impacts us. It has a clear effect on our brains, our moods, and our appearance. There’s a reason why people don’t paint their bedrooms in bright colors — they’re too energizing. There’s a reason why banks tend to stick with cool neutrals in their interiors and on their websites — colors such as navy and white connote safety, respect, trustworthiness. Not surprisingly, what you wear on a date or in your online dating profile photo can send a message about […]

Shy, Introverted, and a Failure with Women: What To Do?

Hello Christie, I am a shy, introverted IB and TNG (according to MBTI typology, I am an INTJ). My dating Kryptonites are overthinking, shyness and social awkwardness. But I have also difficulties in leading with masculinity. It is easy for me to tone down my emotions (in fact, I have difficulties in expressing them and in behaving in “emotional” situations, because I am much more rational than spontaneous), but not to be confident and take control. Because of my social […]

Christie Hartman’s Dating Advice: Most Popular Blog Articles

I’ve been running this blog for some years now. Some of you have been around as long as this blog has, whereas many of you are newer. It’s been fun to watch the blog following grow, to see which articles rank highly in Google (not always the ones you’d expect!), and, of course, to see which articles will strike a chord with readers. Even a psychologist like myself can’t often predict how people will react to a particular article, and […]

Why Don’t Single Women Check Men Out?

Hiya Christie. I have a question that probably another guy has asked before, so excuse me if I’m asking what is probably an old question. I just can’t find a straight and clear answer to it. If you can tell me, why don’t single women–who want a man in their lives–look or glance over to men, like we do to them? Grocery store, eating at a restaurant, walking down the sidewalk… we look or give a glance over, yet women […]