Dating and Change: What Does it Mean to “Leave Your Comfort Zone”?

Last time, I talked about change: why change is necessary in dating, the difference between changing who you are and changing ineffective behaviors or habits, and why people resist change. This is such an important topic that one could write volumes on it. After all, change is often the one thing standing between you and what you want. One of the tough things about change is facing the unknown. What’s familiar, even if it sucks, can be comforting because you […]

Dating and Introversion: The Burden of Small Talk

One of the things I hear over and over from introverted singles is that they hate small talk. This isn’t too surprising, as a dislike for or lack of skill with small talk is a common defining trait of introversion. Extroverts are the ones with the gift of gab, the ones who can talk to strangers about anything and always have something to say. Why? Because they love to talk! They enjoy the stimulation of shooting the breeze with other […]

Online Dating Tips for Introverts

Online dating can be a different experience for introverts. On the one hand, the “putting yourself out there” and the making small talk with complete strangers can prove taxing to the introvert. On the other, online dating can be achieved from the quiet and comfort of your own home and involves only 1-on-1 communications, both of which favor the introvert. And, in the end, as I’ve said 100 times before, online dating is a useful vehicle to meet other singles you […]

What is Introversion, and Why is it Important in Dating?

Four years ago, I wrote a blog entitled “Are You an Attractive Introvert?” I was surprised even then–when far fewer people read this blog–how much interest the article generated. But since then, and especially this year, the article has gone viral and generated a record number of page views and comments. The truth is, dating is a different ballgame for introverts… and it’s a really different ballgame for Attractive Introverts (AIs). The idea of introversion has gained much traction in the […]

Shy, Introverted, and a Failure with Women: What To Do?

Hello Christie, I am a shy, introverted IB and TNG (according to MBTI typology, I am an INTJ). My dating Kryptonites are overthinking, shyness and social awkwardness. But I have also difficulties in leading with masculinity. It is easy for me to tone down my emotions (in fact, I have difficulties in expressing them and in behaving in “emotional” situations, because I am much more rational than spontaneous), but not to be confident and take control. Because of my social […]

Christie Hartman’s Dating Advice: Most Popular Blog Articles

I’ve been running this blog for some years now. Some of you have been around as long as this blog has, whereas many of you are newer. It’s been fun to watch the blog following grow, to see which articles rank highly in Google (not always the ones you’d expect!), and, of course, to see which articles will strike a chord with readers. Even a psychologist like myself can’t often predict how people will react to a particular article, and […]

Is it Possible for an Introvert to Enjoy Online Dating?

Hello Christie, First of all I need to thank you for your book, “Changing Your Game“, and also your online articles. I really like them. Here is the dilemma I have: 1) I am an introvert. I feel uncomfortable exposing myself to the public. For example, I close my office door after I enter it. I dislike convertible cars because they expose me to the open world. I prefer to be in my own corner rather than be on the […]

Dating When You’re an Introvert

Dating is a different ballgame for introverts. In many ways, it’s tougher: Dating requires you to go out and meet new people – introverts prefer their small circle of friends. Dating requires you to make small talk with strangers – introverts don’t generally like small talk, and don’t feel as comfortable talking to a bunch of strangers. Dating requires you to put yourself out there, but introverts prefer it “in here.” IBs (Intellectual Badasses) are often introverted. They have their […]

Are You an “Attractive Introvert?”

I just read an article on the Huffington Post called 7 Things You Thought You Knew About Introverts. Introverts are generally quieter people – they’re internal. Unlike extroverts, who feel at ease talking and making their feelings and opinions known to anyone who will listen, introverts tend to keep their feelings and opinions on the inside, at least until you get to know them. And while many extroverts have no trouble approaching or talking to strangers, introverts don’t often do […]