Fear and the Divorced Man

In my coaching practice, I work with a variety of people: men and women, those ranging from mid-20s to early 50s, and interesting people from various walks of life, from a small-town Mountain Man to a career woman in a big East Coast city. And while my clients seek me out for a variety of challenges, one particular challenge falls across my desk on a regular basis: a woman is dating a separated or divorced man. In Dating the Divorced Man, […]

Dating a Divorced Man: Signs His Ex isn’t Over Him

One of the most common concerns I hear from women dating divorced men is something relating to his ex. Perhaps she’s still in the picture. Or she’s not in the picture but she bugs you anyway. Or maybe she doesn’t like you, or uses the kids as pawns to manipulate your boyfriend, or he’s talking to her or helping her more often than you feel comfortable with. Many exes aren’t a problem. But when she is a problem, even a […]

Is My Separated Man on the Rebound?

Whenever you see a friend or family member end a relationship or marriage and immediately get involved with someone new, what is your first thought? Rebound!   But What is Rebounding, Exactly? Rebounding occurs when the loss of a relationship creates a sizable void in your life, and you do what most people do when they encounter a void in their personal life: FILL IT. If you’re hungry, you crave food. If you’re thirsty, you crave water. And if you’ve suddenly lost a person […]

Help: My Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife Won’t Leave!

  Hello Dr. Hartman, I have been dating a guy for 6 years. We’re in our 50s. We both have children: his are grown, mine are teenagers. He has been divorced for over ten years. My dilemma: after the first couple of years, things were fine. His ex, that has also still loved him and never got over the divorce, was diagnosed with breast cancer and he allowed her to move in while she recovered, which I understood the compassion. […]

Is it Normal for My Divorced Man to Keep in Constant Contact with his Ex-Wife?

When the topic of dating separated and divorced men comes up, one of the questions I get most often is, “How much contact should he be having with his ex?” In other words, if a man is divorced (or going through a divorce), how much visiting/talking/texting/helping the ex-wife is expected for the sake of good relations, and how much is too much? This is an important question, because the nature and frequency of contact with his ex can tell you […]

Is it Normal to Obsess about My Boyfriend’s Ex?

  Dear Christie, I started dating my current boyfriend about 8 months ago. This is my first serious relationship with a man to where we live together and would like to have a future together. However, he was married before. They were married 2 1/2 years. I have a hard time not constantly comparing myself to his ex-wife. Always wondering if we fight too much like they did or if I ever do anything that would remind him of her […]

Help! My Husband’s Ex is Driving Me Crazy!!

  Dear Christie, I read your book on dating the divorced man and boy you had some great points! I have never been married, always held out until I met the man I was always meant to find. Unfortunately he found someone else first, eloped and married a horrible person. She left him, and the marriage, before I had ever arrived. Then when I entered the picture, she decided to take their 2 kids and move them across the country […]

He Finally Signed His Divorce Papers: So Why is He in a Funk?

Dear Christie: I bought your book Dating the Divorced Man, and thought it was a great book.  Of course, every situation can’t be discussed within the constraints of a book, and I have one of those “situations”. I met a guy over 4 years ago and we became friends. He was married with 2 children and had been having many problems with his wife for many years. During our friendship, he became interested in me, but I was never attracted to him; […]