Confidence and Insecurity, Part 2: Women

  People who dispense dating advice will often tell you that confidence is sexy, sexier than a good income or a great face, and a key to attracting the other sex. And they’re right. However, it’s more of a challenge to define what confidence is and how to convey it. Sometimes, it’s easier to offer examples of what confidence ISN’T. Last time, I talked about confidence and why it’s important. In my mind, confidence is believing in yourself. It’s being […]

Confidence and Insecurity, Part 1: Men

  So I’ve been thinking a lot about confidence: what it is and what it’s not. People who dispense dating advice are always pushing singles to show confidence, saying that confidence is sexy, sexier than a good income or a great face. And they’re right. The problem is it’s much harder to actually define what confidence is, and what it’s NOT.       What is Confidence? Google defines it as: “A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s […]

Rejection, Self-Entitlement, Misogyny, and Murder

I don’t typically write about current events, particularly mass murders. The last time I did, it was when a young neuroscientist-in-training took out a bunch of innocent people at the Batman movie premiere in 2012. As a scientist, nerd, and Coloradoan, that one hit home on many levels. And when I was out of town this weekend and heard that some kid went on a shooting rampage at UC Santa Barbara because no girls wanted to sleep with him, I […]

She Friend-Zoned Me… Now What?

Dear Christie, I am writing you this letter after reading Changing Your Game, because I am in need of some serious advice in regards to this woman that I really like. About three months ago, I met a woman and we have been talking and hanging out quite frequently during this time. She is someone that I am serious about and would consider potentially marrying if we were to begin dating, because I see that her values, beliefs, and some […]

Guys: Is Your Online Dating Profile Sending the Wrong Message?

It isn’t easy to write an online dating profile. I remember what it was like, wondering what would sound interesting vs. dull, what reflected me best, and what would attract the kind of men I was looking for. It’s easy for people to become obsessive about it, wondering how every line will be perceived by the other sex; it’s also easy to become lazy about it, thinking that it doesn’t matter what you write as long as your pic and […]

Are PUAs (Pick-Up Artists) all Bad?

  What comes to mind when you hear the words “Pickup Artist”? Do you think of a 20-something male scouring bars at night, dressed in attention-getting clothes and dispensing pickup strategies that are unconventional at best? Or, do you think of a douchey guy who trolls about looking for girls to fuck so he can brag about it to his cronies on some misogynistic PUA forum? Or, perhaps you think of a guy who enjoys meeting women and has developed […]

Dating and Body Language: Telling the Difference Between Friendliness and Interest

Hi Christie, Firstly, thanks for posting your thoughts and findings online – I’ve read a number of your articles and threads, and it’s helped me feel a bit better about some of my worries and concerns, knowing that in part they are due to human nature rather than some fault on my part. I have a question for you, which arises from a number of recent experiences I’ve had. I hope it might make for an interesting discussion on your […]

Are You Facing Repeated Rejection in Dating? Here’s What To Do…

In my last post, I discussed the DOs and DON’Ts of handling rejection in dating. Rejection is an unavoidable part of dating, and the sooner you learn to put it in perspective, the better. However, that article dealt with rejection in general, the kind of rejection that happens to every person who’s single and out there making an effort. But what about repeated rejection? What do you do when you keep getting rejected, when you can’t get a date, can’t […]

Dating and Money: Do I Have to Go Broke to Make a Woman Happy?

Christie, Love the blog and I have commented several times on your articles. I am dating a woman for 6 weeks. We have gone out 10 times with each of those times being multiple venues (dinner AND movie or dinner AND drinks, etc). She has had multiple opportunities to reciprocate. The most I ever got in the form of reciprocation is a bottle of organic ketchup I mentioned I wanted to try and a pie that she made when I […]

I’m Shy and Disabled: Will I Ever Find Love?

Hi Christie, I am a shy guy. I live with my parents. I’m a college student. I am disabled (I have epilepsy), so I have no car and no job. It seems all my friends are getting married or already have (no singles there), and it seems that I am destined to die alone. I think it’s been… 2 years since a girl I asked out said yes to even 1 date… and considerably longer since I was in a […]