In Part 1, I talked about the signs a man is interested in you when you first come into contact with him. In Part 2, I’ll discuss how to know a man is interested once you actually start dating. And just as importantly, I’ll discuss the signs he’s NOT interested, i.e. when it’s time to MOVE ON.
Knowing when a guy is interested in you, and when he’s not, becomes more complicated once you start dating. If you’ve gone out with this guy a few times, most likely you’re pretty interested in him. Which means you’re becoming more emotionally involved. And when you’re emotionally involved, being objective becomes more and more difficult. This is a very tenuous time – this is where the rubber hits the road, where you decide what you will and will not put up with.
What you want to look for are consistent signs of interest. The signs are deceptively simple. An interested guy will:
- Call you often. How often depends on the guy and how long you’ve been dating. Look for consistency and that the frequency increases as you get to know one another.
- Want to see you often. Dates should start at once per week, then increase with time.
- Want to see only you. Most men will do this quickly. But some men may take a month or two to rule out the other girls.
- Open his life up to you. You’ll get to meet his friends, his family, his kids, etc.
You also need to look for signs of disinterest, or inadequate interest. These include:
- Phone calls and dates are infrequent or decrease in frequency.
- He says he’ll call and then doesn’t. An interested guy doesn’t “forget” or get “too busy” to call. And if he does, it only happens once and is followed by an apology.
- He’s still seeing other women or trying to patch things up with his ex.
- He says he’s busy, stressed, focused on his career, scared of getting hurt, getting over his divorce, or any other excuse for why he isn’t fully interested and available.
- You sense something is wrong. Never ignore your intuition. You will rarely question the interest level of a truly interested guy, but you will often question that of the wrong guy.
Here’s the tricky part: Once you’ve dated a guy for a while, if a guy starts to show signs of disinterest, they will rarely occur by themselves. They often co-occur with signs of interest. For example, a guy tells you how much he likes you and then forgets to call, or he says he’s not ready for a relationship but then continues to call you. Remember – when you get mixed messages, pay attention to the negative ones. They’re the bottom line. If you find that he’s showing signs of waning or inadequate interest, start preparing yourself that he may not be the guy for you. If you stick around, you’re sending the message to him, and to the universe, that you’re willing to settle. Don’t do it.