I had a bad experience recently. I was part of an event affiliated with Match.com, where I and a few others were panelists in a discussion with a roomful of singles. It was an interactive event, where the MC asked the audience what dating challenges they face, and we panelists would chime in with advice.
There were 5 panelists, one of whom was an outspoken, opinionated guy who did a lot of the talking on the panel. He owns a bunch of bars and has written a dating book that he hasn’t published yet. One of his most interesting comments was that “most men are douchebags.” Yes, he said it, and he meant it. He told us before the event began that he wants to protect his 3 daughters, who are old enough to date now. He also said that all the good people get snatched up early, leaving a small pool of lower quality people for those who are still single. He had other things to say, some of which were good and others that weren’t… but there he was, dominating the conversation when he was — BY FAR — the least knowledgeable person on that panel. Being a quieter introvert, I had a hard time getting a word in edgewise in the maelstrom of loud opinions that constituted this event. But I still feel regret that I didn’t challenge his stupider statements. Read More
One of the most common concerns I hear from women dating divorced men is something relating to his ex. Perhaps she’s still in the picture. Or she’s not in the picture but she bugs you anyway. Or maybe she doesn’t like you, or uses the kids as pawns to manipulate your boyfriend, or he’s talking to her or helping her more often than you feel comfortable with.
Many exes aren’t a problem. But when she is a problem, even a minor problem, the most common reason is a rather simple one:
She isn’t over him yet.
This is a confusing concept to many. People often believe that if an ex isn’t over you, it must mean they still love you or want you back. Sometimes, that’s actually the case. But other times, it’s only that he or she simply hasn’t let go of you, your relationship, or the “idea” of you yet.
Happy Thursday all! I just got done with Denver Comic Con last weekend. It was a BLAST… even more fun than last year, and I didn’t think that was possible! It doesn’t hurt that I sold all but 5 of my books 🙂
Here are a few new announcements:
First, the new edition of Dating the Divorced Man could use some more Amazon reviews! Reviews mean the world to me and to both past and future readers. Readers love to know what other readers thought about a book: what they liked, what didn’t work for them, how the book helped them personally. A review doesn’t need to be long or amazing… just honest. Here is the link on Amazon… and thanks a million!
How To Pick Up a Single Dad
On the “dating the divorced man” theme, I am quoted in a fun article on how to pick up a single dad. Hey, there are lots of them out there and they would love to meet the right girl. Single dads, assuming they’re moved on from their divorces, can be great partners. Those of you who are parents know how much maturity and responsibility goes into raising kids… that same maturity will benefit your relationship as well.
6 Signs He’s Definitely Flirting with You
And, finally, Women’s Health Mag did an online article on signs that a man is flirting with (or attracted to) you. You’d be surprised how clueless most women are when it comes to this, and my years-old blog article “Signs a Man is Interested in You, Part I” is still my most viewed article by far.
Check out the article on the Women’s Health site here…
Whenever you see a friend or family member end a relationship or marriage and immediately get involved with someone new, what is your first thought?
But What is Rebounding, Exactly?
Rebounding occurs when the loss of a relationship creates a sizable void in your life, and you do what most people do when they encounter a void in their personal life: FILL IT. If you’re hungry, you crave food. If you’re thirsty, you crave water. And if you’ve suddenly lost a person you’ve been with for months or years, you crave human connection.
This is true even if the relationship/marriage wasn’t working, even if you wanted it to end, even if you haven’t felt close to your partner in years. Many people don’t realize that a bond with another person changes you, in that you become linked with him or her. Once you break that link, your mind and body must readjust. It’s much like when you quit smoking or drinking caffeine — the initial withdrawals can be brutal, but eventually your body adapts to its new conditions.
I don’t typically write about current events, particularly mass murders. The last time I did, it was when a young neuroscientist-in-training took out a bunch of innocent people at the Batman movie premiere in 2012. As a scientist, nerd, and Coloradoan, that one hit home on many levels. And when I was out of town this weekend and heard that some kid went on a shooting rampage at UC Santa Barbara because no girls wanted to sleep with him, I shook my head in disgust. Not just because of the senseless killings, but because of the disturbing, self-entitled tirade that preceded them.
To be honest, I wanted nothing to do with it. But apparently this particular event has generated a huge discussion on all the major websites, on Twitter, and probably everywhere else. And why? Because of his “reasons” for the murders. He resented women for rejecting him, and men for being chosen instead of him, so he killed them. This murderer was an active member of some PUA (Pick-up Artist) and MRA (Men’s Rights Activist) communities, and his rants had the all-too-familiar tags of someone who’d spent far too much time there. [CORRECTION: It seems he was a member of PUA HATE, a site that criticized PUAs but is considered by some to represent the negative aspects of PUA and MRA beliefs/criticisms about women. Much of his manifesto reflected some of these beliefs.] Read More