From a good FastCompany article

Four years ago, I wrote a blog entitled “Are You an Attractive Introvert?” I was surprised even then–when far fewer people read this blog–how much interest the article generated. But since then, and especially this year, the article has gone viral and generated a record number of page views and comments. The truth is, dating is a different ballgame for introverts… and it’s a really different ballgame for Attractive Introverts (AIs).

The idea of introversion has gained much traction in the media, probably due heavily to Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking. I ruefully admit the book bored me enough to give up on it, but that’s more about my personal preferences and does not take away from the value and impact of the book for so many. (As it happens, I just downloaded it to give it another whirl).

Now, there are articles about introversion everywhere. The interesting thing about this explosion of info about introversion is that there are many different opinions as to what it is. So, I want to offer a brief overview of what introversion is.  Read More

CatfishTheTVShowFor those of you who are dating online — and I know there are many of you — you probably know how it feels when you meet a potential date in person and they don’t quite look like the picture. Often they are:

  • Older in person (i.e. they posted an old photo)
  • Heavier in person (they posted a photo from when they were thinner)
  • Less attractive in person (they posted a photo that’s over-glamorized or otherwise not a realistic portrayal of them)

I know. It gets old, dealing with these deceptive people. Time and time again I encourage people to be honest in their pics and profiles. They’re going to find out the truth anyway! And when they do, they will only see you as, at best, insecure about yourself, and at worst, delusional. I say, have some damned pride in yourself and accept that you aren’t perfect. But, alas, not everyone listens to my sage advice. Read More


As most of you read last month, I attended a dating-related event in which one of the panelists stated that “most men are douchebags.” He said this twice: once before the event started, and again to the audience during the event. You know how I feel about this.

When people say things like this, sometimes it’s just hyperbole to make a point or to get people to listen. But more often it reflects the person’s true belief systems. This particular man owns a lot of bars and has likely spent a considerable amount of time in them, watching the kind of behavior that doesn’t make men (or women, for that matter) seem especially admirable.

But the interesting thing is that he has 3 daughters who are now old enough to date. He’s concerned about them. This was his justification for his advice and beliefs, and it was the justification used by a friend of his when someone criticized his douchebag statement.

We’ve all heard the jokes about fathers holding shotguns and scaring men who court their daughters. They’re funny. Men can relate to them, especially if they too have daughters. No man wants to see his little girl get hurt or taken advantage of by a… douchebag. And we can respect a man who looks out for his girls, right?

BUT… is this the way to go about it? Read More


From OkTrends blog. This shows that attempting to rate looks and personality separately was a waste of time, as people don’t differentiate between the two on the site.

After 3 years of nothing but the sound of crickets, OkCupid has finally posted something on their OkTrends blog. And this time, it was to admit that they “experiment on human beings.” In other words, they’ve used the huge cache of data (and subjects) available to them, manipulated their users’ profile data, and utilized their considerable analytic prowess to bring us yet more interesting information about how people behave when dating online.

The new blog article is called, of course, “We Experiment on Human Beings!”


Right or Wrong?

Some people find OkCupid’s experimentation merely interesting. Others are outraged. Their experimentation even made major news, including a segment on Good Morning America. And it was somewhat similar to the public finding out that Facebook did some “experiments” of its own on the power of “emotional contagion,” where the social media site manipulated users’ feeds to see how they would react. Even a Senator asked the Federal Trade Commission to look into what Facebook did, mostly to address the issue of privacy and what these social networking sites should be getting away with.

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ok-to-be-jealous-mainGreetings, all. Hope you’re enjoying your summer and tolerating the July heat, humidity, and/or monsoons. Hot or no, it could be summer all year round as far as I’m concerned. LOVE it.

I’ve been fortunate enough to be quoted in a lot of articles recently, all of them very good. So thought I’d share some of them with you for a little fun and informative reading.


Guys: 6 Lies She’s Been Telling You

Have you ever dated a woman who said something and then you find out later it wasn’t quite the truth? For example, the “I’m fine” speech when she’s clearly NOT fine? She probably wasn’t intentionally lying, but trying to show her best side. Read on…

From Men’s Health Magazine: 6 Lies She’s Been Telling You Since You Met

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