I haven’t done a nerdy post in a long time. I miss it. So when I came across this chart that uses Star Wars characters to illustrate Myers-Briggs personality types, I could not resist.


What is Myers-Briggs?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a well known personality test. By “well known,” I mean that the average person has heard of the MBTI and may even know their type. Personality inventories allow us to understand ourselves – and others – better. When we see that different types respond to life in different ways, we learn to understand and accept, rather than criticize and judge. As you can imagine, this is really important when it comes to relationships.

The MBTI has four dimensions:

Extroversion (E) vs. Introversion (I): Are you, respectively, more external (E) or internal (I)?

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N): Do you gather information through your senses (S) or your Intuition (N)?

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F): Do you make your decisions based on what makes the most logical sense (T) or what’s best for everyone involved (F)?

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P): Do you prefer things set and planned (J) or to “see what happens” and “play it by ear” (P)?

Collectively, this creates 16 different personality types.

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Happy Monday, everyone. Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Myself, I spent time with family, did some holiday shopping (on Black Friday and Small Business Saturday, but NOT Thanksgiving – don’t even get me started on that)…. and spent the rest of the weekend working on the last act of my novel. Can’t complain.

My apologies for the long lapses between blogs recently. I’ve been busier than usual trying to catch up from a pretty serious financial setback that occurred last year. I’ve also been rethinking how I want to approach this blog. I’m thinking about broadening the scope of it a bit. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

Anyhow, I was contacted by a reporter doing a story for the New York Post on a timely topic: holiday breakups. A couple of years ago, some studies revealed that the holidays (or, more accurately, the period just before the holidays) are a peak time for breakups.

For example, examine the image below, which I picked up from David McCandless’s site Information Is Beautiful. McCandless specializes in taking data and putting it into elegant visual form, which he eventually transformed into a book . Which, as a visual learner who lives for maps and graphs, I very much appreciate. The data for this graph come from Facebook status updates. Read More

I’ve been running this blog for some years now. Some of you have been around as long as this blog has, whereas many of you are newer. It’s been fun to watch the blog following grow, to see which articles rank highly in Google (not always the ones you’d expect!), and, of course, to see which articles will strike a chord with readers. Even a psychologist like myself can’t often predict how people will react to a particular article, and that’s half of what makes it so FUN…

There are articles I wrote years ago that I completely forgot about, and some that are even older but still get comments. There are some that get few to no comments, and others that get tons. So, for fun, I thought I’d write up a partial list of this blog’s most popular articles.

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Last week, Pew Research Center rolled out the results of its latest online dating study, entitled Online Dating and Relationships. This study follows up a 2005 study Pew did on the internet’s impact on dating and relationships.

Although we’ve discussed several different studies and infographics on online dating, many of those – while interesting – are somewhat biased due to their sampling methods. For example, OkCupid or Match can do a study based on their user data, but such a sample is a sample of convenience and does not necessarily represent the average American (or the average online dater). As such, their results are interesting but not necessarily up to scientific snuff. Pew’s sampling methods (based on a cross section of Americans) are a bit more rigorous, so their numbers are worth paying attention to. Here are some stats from Pew’s study:



  • 11% of American adults—and 38% of those who are currently “single and looking” for a partner—have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps
  • 22% of 25-34 year olds and 17% of 35-44 year olds are online daters.
  • 66% of online daters have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or app (vs. 43% in 2005), and 23% of online daters say they met a spouse or long term relationship through these sites (17% in 2005).

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Online dating. Love it or hate it, it’s part of our culture now and a regular discussed topic in the media.

We haven’t talked about this topic in a while, but lately it seems everyone’s interested in it and they all want my opinion. And, of course, I’m always ready to offer my opinion.


Is Online Dating Worth Doing?

Some colleagues and I had a great debate about online dating on Facebook last week. Some in the industry believe it’s a waste of time; others (myself included) think it can be useful IF done in an optimal way. The online dating detractors offered the typical reasons you hear people complain about: people can be deceptive, you don’t know what you’re getting until you meet in person, and the classic cynic’s mantra: “Dating sites don’t want you to find true love because then they’d be out of business.”

Anyone who’s read Changing Your Game, Find The Love of Your Life Online, or any of my blogs knows that online dating has drawbacks. The drawbacks are real – you have to expect them and work around them. And as far as dating sites colluding to keep people single… I could write an entire essay on that argument, but suffice it to say that even the most honest or helpful online dating site will never be out of business because there will always be single people. Dating sites don’t find you love – they give you the opportunity to find it yourself.

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