Good news: I finally released the 2nd edition of Dating the Divorced Man. It’s got all the useful information from the first edition, but I reworked it and added more examples and material based on everything I learned from coaching clients. A satisfying endeavor to finish that, for sure!
One of the topics I address in the book is friendship with an ex. After all, every separated and divorced man has an ex. And exes you were married to usually have much more pull than ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. This blog has many articles on dating after divorce, some of which are heavily frequented by readers. My most commented article, by far, is on how much contact is appropriate with an ex. When does friendliness become friendship? And when does friendship become a problem?
I am a shy, introverted IB and TNG (according to MBTI typology, I am an INTJ). My dating Kryptonites are overthinking, shyness and social awkwardness. But I have also difficulties in leading with masculinity. It is easy for me to tone down my emotions (in fact, I have difficulties in expressing them and in behaving in “emotional” situations, because I am much more rational than spontaneous), but not to be confident and take control.
Because of my social awkwardness, in some social situations I don’t know what to do, I am sometimes confused, insecure or clueless. Because of I tend to overthink everything, it is sometimes diffucult to figure it out in a way I am content with. Even if I do, sometimes I am not able to realize it because of my shyness. Sometimes is it caused by the fact that I am not sure what I want, but mostly because I simply don’t know what to do. In many cases, I can prepare in advance, but it is impossible to solve that way all possible situations. I don’t like improvization and I am not good at it and I don’t like taking a risk as well. However, it is diffucult to take control, If I don’t know what to do. Read More
Happy almost-Valentines Day, for those who care about it. For those who don’t, happy Spring-is-Coming-Soon. Occasionally, various dating sites will send me lists, infographics, or other information I might find interesting or valuable. So I selected a few that offered interesting info and will pass them on to you. I also hand-picked a few from some good peeps on Twitter. Let’s call it… Christie’s Digest ;).
V-Day rom-coms that men won’t mind watching
- Chemistry.com retweeted a Glamour article with a (pretty good) list of romantic comedies that women can talk their boyfriends into watching. I would’ve included Love Actually, but perhaps that’s more of a Christmas film…
V-Day DOs and DON’Ts for singles
- I Dream of U posted some good advice for singles on V-Day (or, as some say, Singles Awareness Day)…
So I’ve written many posts on OkCupid’s interesting data crunching, and their even more interesting results. Anyone can give you their opinion on what it takes to succeed in online dating; but offering up hard data… well, it doesn’t get much better than that, especially when the results aren’t what we expect.
A friend sent me a great link on Twitter today. Wired magazine has crunched data from OkCupid and Match.com to come of with the things that create online dating success. This one is all about the written portion of the profile: what words, interests, hobbies, movies, and music will titillate others and generate more attention, emails, and options?
The punch line (and the title of the article on Slate) is:
Happy Monday, all! Hope you all had a great start to your New Year.
It’s been some time since I’ve posted an article here. To a great extent, the lag time between posts will continue to be this long. I am putting my efforts into some new endeavors, including my fiction writing and new blog that will focus on film and books (particularly science fiction). Of course, if this interests you, join in! Otherwise, I am still active on Twitter and will periodically distribute information here if I think you can benefit from it.
But on to my topic. Anyone who’s ever dated knows that it comes with challenges and difficulties. We’ve all dealt with rejection, being blown off, people who don’t follow the same dating rules we do, misunderstandings about the other sex, etc. It can be tough. I know; I’ve been there.